Rum punch on the beach

7 world records in swimming, 3 in running... and a world record for amount of hours spent thinking I'm as good as all these athletes, running around poor unsuspecting hotels pretending I'm Michael Phelps (I'm not by the way, my secret identity is not a cover up for being a world famous record breaking athlete, why would I cover that up? Think it through readers! Tsk!)

I was amazed by the sporting prowess of Usain Bolt. 3 races, 3 world records. He comes from Jamaica you know. And did you also know that my employers (the great people at HotelConnect) have just launched top destinations in the Caribbean, including Jamaica? I went on a top secret mission last week to the Caribbean (I know, it's a hard life) to check out these destinations.

My first stop was Jamaica where I sampled life at the 5 star Half Moon Resort in Montego Bay, which proudly calls itself the tourist capital of Jamaica. It's been popular with celebs and us hoi polloi for many years, and with good reason. The beaches are spectacular. I fed a hummingbird at the Rocklands Bird Sanctuary, and did my best Bond impression at the casino. Staying at the Half Moon Resort is a real treat - it has 51 pools, yes fifty-one swimming pools. This is utter luxury. The resort has even had the royal seal of approval. HRH Queen Lizzy II has stayed here. I felt very much at home and so will you! With HotelConnect you can get 7 nights for the price of 6 from just £582pp. If you have an anniversary/wedding/honeymoon/a holiday that needs the wow factor, look no further. Seriously, put your feet up and relax, everything will be 'irie' here.

The other fabulous destinations in the Caribbean include Barbados (altogether now, "Oh.. I'm going to Barbados...!". I liked Barbados a lot. Great food, great people, and a natural beauty to the place. The Bajans are fun! And yet so polite. There were hugs all round when I eventually managed to extract myself from a beach BBQ! Try the 3 star Barbados Beach Club - 7 nights for the price of 6 from £324pp all inclusive.

Feeling slightly worse for wear after rather a lot of rum, I decided to try St. Lucia. Somewhere I've always wanted to go and explore. It really is like stepping into the Pirates of the Caribbean. Lush rainforest and unspoilt beaches. I did my best Jack Sparrow impression with my hangover! The 2 star Bay Gardens Hotel is a gem! Comfy pastel rooms with a balcony or terrace. The traditional buildings surround the lovely pool. From £35pppn.

The Bahamas were flat - an odd introduction I know, but it stuck in my head! - and colourful and everyday seems to be a celebration of life. Lots of little islands make up the Bahamas, and each one has something to offer. I was on Grand Bahama Island, where I stayed at the all-inclusive 3 star Wyndham Fortuna Beach Hotel. It had a great beach and because pretty much everything is included I barely had to move! From £52pppn all inclusive.

I decided the next stop was going to be more energetic as I'd indulged a little too much at the Wyndham. I whizzed off to Antigua, and the Jolly Beach Resort. Jolly by name, jolly by nature! Here I took full advantage of the 8,000sq ft fantasy pool, for swimming lengths. And because the non-motorised watersports are all free, I managed to tone up ready on the Antiguan beach to get back to HC Towers and show off my tan. From £69pppn all inclusive.